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From New Age to Jesus

From being in the New Age to being saved by Jesus!

Where it all began…

I was raised Catholic but stopped going to church when I was in my early teens. If I am able to recollect I was around 13 years of age. My mom was a part of the choir so both of my parents would borderline force me to go but eventually, they just stopped insisting.

I always thought going to church was a joke, even when I was really young, I always felt like there was something not right about the people who went to church. Not necessarily the church itself but the people really rubbed me the wrong way. Plus, I knew all of the drama that would go on within the church because my mom would come home and discuss this with my father. It eventually made me not want to be around people who were holy for an hour but went back home to live in hell.

Eventually, my attitude go me kicked out of CCD and that was the cherry on top for me. That was the string that needed to be broken for me to officially stop attending every Sunday.

So, a few years went by and I honestly forgot about God, and never gave Him much thought not even when I would go to church for special occasions would I think about God. I spent most of my time on my phone or spaced out. I only thought about God whenever I would get a really bad stomach ache LOL, I’m so serious.

By the time I turned 21, I was pretty much agnostic, borderline atheist. I had no relationship with God and really didn’t believe that putting my faith in God would actually matter and I started to believe that it was all fake. Also, by the time I was 22 or 23 I had graduated college and this Jesus is a myth ideology was spreading throughout my generation like wildfire. Many seeds of doubt had been planted by professors and peers throughout my years in college, and ultimately pushed me further and further away from God.

Between ages 22 -25 I was pretty much an Athiest and I say pretty much bc I was still really scared to say that I didn’t COMPLETELY believe. I was really young, sad, and confused at that time in my life! I was in a relationship at that time that I had been in since I was 18 and, I lived a very secular life.

Definition of Secular: denoting attitudes, activities, or other things that have no religious or spiritual basis.

Fast forward, everything changed when I met a group of entrepreneurs at 25 that introduced me to new business opportunities and New Age spirituality. That was the start of a long journey through some “deep” and dangerous stuff.

At first, when I started to hear about all of these new ideas I was really weirded out but also really curious! I went from believing that there was no God to believing that God was "within me”, that I was God, and thought that Jesus was just a philosopher. I also started believing that I had some sort of magical powers that came from the universe and worshiped my crystals. It was nuts, I literally went from not believing in anything to mixing Hinduism, Buddhism, Pantheism, and any other ism you could think of, LOL. It’s hard to truly pin down everything that I believed in because like I was, most New Agers just pull from whatever makes them feel good. I did the same, if something sounded good I would apply it.

I went to reiki sessions, did yoga, listened to gurus I could barely understand, read weird books, watched all sorts of videos, mediated, said my affirmations out loud every day, idolized my crystals, spoke to the universe, and entertained ritualistic ceremonies.

It was WILD, the New Age had me all confused. I was emotionally detached from people, I entertained the idea of multiple partners, and I thought it was okay to experiment in many different areas with sex, drugs, alcohol, witchcraft, crystals, rituals, and other things. I did all of this under the guidance of gurus and spiritual mentors that would encourage these actions.

I thought a lot of this stuff was a part of my journey to “enlightenment”, I thought I was “woke” and everyone was asleep. I thought the universe could really open all of these doors of opportunity for me if I just did everything I was told by these gurus and spiritual mentors. I wanted to chase this "enlightenment high" so bad that I would listen to anyone who I believed was more elevated spiritually than I was!

I REALLY believed this stuff was good for me, I had no idea it was demonic. NO IDEA! All of these things made me feel like I was growing, it made me feel like I was reaching new levels and that everyone else was either not on my frequency or not “ready to receive”. LIKE WHAT?

Guys, the lights were out for a WHILE! You could knock but NOBODY was home!

Within this group of individuals, I mentioned earlier I met a few people who invited me to a church called drum roll…. HILLSONG (I won’t get the Hillsong topic right now). Even though my friends at that time believed in some of the same New Age stuff that I believed in they also believed in God. I was invited to church for the first time in years and although I was hesitant, I went. Guess what happened a few minutes into the service??? I fainted! They called the ambulance and a little while later I was back to reality. I was so scared, I never wanted to go to church again! After that day, it took me a while to go back but eventually, about 3-4 months after that incident I went to Hillsong Boston. TRUTHFULLY guys I was still rejecting Jesus! I would only go to Hillsong to gather personal development ideas but I NEVER FELT CONVICTED! Once in a while, the music and sermons would move me emotionally but it was short-lived. Want to read something even worse, I don't recall ever hearing the gospel of Jesus Christ at Hillsong.

It was a very interesting time in my life, and to make matters worse I was mixing God stuff with New Age stuff and I was just so confused. I may have been confused but at that time you couldn't tell me anything. My chakras were super on point, I was super "enlightened"!

To make the long story as short as I can, two to three years into this New Age journey I went on my second Guatemala trip. Then BOOM ..PANDEMIC! In Early 2020, shortly after arriving back into the states from Guatemala, I started feeling strange. I couldn’t really describe how I was feeling, I just knew there was something changed within me and it felt supernatural. I was feeling more broken than ever, more lost than ever, I was feeling all sorts of resistance BUT at the same time, I started to feel a connection to someone I would’ve never expected in a million years!

Can you guess who? My now husband Mr. Jon Clash… at the time we were just friends and I knew he was a weird Jesus guy so I never really got close to him. After Guatemala however, we started to really like each other and it was like I stated earlier it was like a supernatural force. At that time I STILL wasn’t a believer, Jon was of course. Ultimately, Jon and I started talking very frequently and started a facetime relationship! I started to ask Jon some questions about Jesus and he was super patient with me. He knew that I didn't believe and he just remained really kind. We eventually made our relationship official and I started going to church with him at Brookfield First in CT.

I cannot remember what day it was but one hot summer day in 2020 I went to church with Jon and immediately after service I got in my car and started heading toward my home in Massachusetts. I remember calling Jon on the way to MA and telling him “I think I fell in love with someone else... His name is Jesus!!!!” It was one of the most emotional days of my life, I think I cried the entire way to MA and I wasn't crying because I was sad, I was crying because I felt an overwhelming sense of love, forgiveness, and grace. I felt like I could breathe, I felt ALIVE! I felt like I had FINALLY found what I had been missing my ENTIRE life. It was like at that moment, I felt like Jesus was present and had shown me for the first time what it felt like to experience true love.

That moment was LIFE CHANGING!! Jon got me a Bible after that and I haven’t put it down since. I burned ALL of my New Age books and my life has since changed, drastically! Every day is a process but the Lord has been working in me since.

If you're reading this and haven't already, I encourage you to put your trust in Jesus as your Lord and Savior.

Remember, you can always contact me personally to request prayers or to just simply talk. God Bless!

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