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Between you and your significant other until marriage.

If I can be completely honest, abstinence used to never cross my mind. The thought of it was weird. There’s a quote that goes “When things change inside you, things change around you”, lol it’s funny how literal that quote is in relation to this topic. Anywho, things change! Things got put into a different perspective for me in 2020. I got to know this powerful man who goes by the name of Jesus and learned quite a few things from Him that made me shift gears in life. Just as an FYI this blog post won't be entirely about God, but He is crucial for this topic and a big reason for why I decided to write this article.

Just to give you all some back story, as I mentioned at the beginning, abstinence used to be a foreign thought in my mind. Everyone I knew was sexually active and or had multiple partners currently or in the past. I quite frankly had never heard anybody bring up the topic of abstinence until I met my husband, Jon. When we first started dating, just like most others, the attraction was powerful. Jon was a believer and it wasn't until after two months of starting the relationship and until I declared Jesus as my Lord and Savior that we figured if we’re going to do this God thing, we’re going to do it God’s way. This was very new to me, Jon on the other hand had been celibate in the past, nonetheless, we both understood it would be a challenge. In August of 2020, we decided we would commit to abstinence until marriage to be obedient to God but also because we knew that fighting our flesh and our mind would help strengthen our relationship.

Now that we are married and we finished the race without any slip up’s, let's have a brief discussion about it!

What are the Pros and Cons of Abstinence:

  • Obeying God’s word

  • “If you love me, you will keep my commandments”. John 14:15

  • You will be less concerned about whether or not your partner is cheating.

  • It strengthens your mind and helps with self-control.

  • It strengthens your spirit.

  • Help’s you see clearly if your partner is really for you.

  • Builds a stronger bond between you and your partner.

  • It displays true love if you're willing to sacrifice such a strong desire until marriage.

  • You become unshackled, your life will change when you're not a slave to your flesh.

  • You can actually work through your problems with verbal communication instead of falling back on “makeup sex”.

  • You can be a guide for others who want to become abstinent.

  • Your friends will judge you because they don't understand.

  • You will be tempted.

  • It will get very difficult on some days.

  • You’ll realize you're a little wimp. (lol jk)

  • Your patience will be tested.

  • Lastly, there really aren't many cons aside from it is difficult to fight the temptation.

With all of this said, if you're reading this and you have been abstinent for a long time, abstained before marriage or you just started your journey, congratulations! In my case, I spent years without a relationship with God and my flesh was my master. I know God used my experiences from the past and his plan has always been greater than my own, however, I do sometimes wish I could’ve done things differently. Knowing what I know now, I am so grateful for Jesus and for his saving grace because without Him I don’t believe I would be even writing this blog. I hope to expand more on this topic to help people, give more insight and support anyone on their journey.

God Bless you,
Giovanna Clash

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